At least make sure they are 18
Why
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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