I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize