i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
