We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
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i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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