Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
