i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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