just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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