I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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