He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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