She said her name was "party"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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