If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
