What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
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and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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