i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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