THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
