Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
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No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
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What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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