that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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