toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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