By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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