I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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