shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
