you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
