He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
