a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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