They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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