I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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