"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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