So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
