shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize