I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i think i just lost a toe
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
