ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
