i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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