Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
