May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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