my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
