I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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