And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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