And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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