Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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