I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
