you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
