i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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