turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
