i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
