i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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