You just made me feel so damn special
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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