Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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