Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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