i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just tell him i said nine months
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
