he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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