it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Let's get the cat blown out
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
