his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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