im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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