For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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