i don't plan on having that self control this summer
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
