Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
