Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize